Hello everyone! Welcome to the weekend. There are four 2010 movies coming out: TOOTH FAIRY, LEGION, EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES and TO SAVE A LIFE. We also have two 2009 movies finally getting a release this weekend as well: THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE and BRONSON. Let’s get started…
The Rock has been appearing in more movies by the year. At first I was pretty skeptical about his acting, but I eventually became a mild fan. I think he’s got alot of potential to be great. Though he did a fantastic job in the underrated GRIDIRON GANG, he hasn’t really had many chances to shine. But even his films I haven’t liked (RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN), he still is good in them.
His latest starring vehicle is TOOTH FAIRY. The Rock plays Derek, a has-been minor league Hockey player who is primarily used to knock people out during games, occasionally knocking people’s teeth out, hence his nickname “the tooth fairy”. He’s self-centered and is a pretty big asshole. He even tells kids to give up their dreams and to think realistically. Derek also has a girlfriend (Ashley Judd) who has two kids. When the little girl loses a tooth, he tells her that the tooth fairy isn’t real. This causes him to be summoned to a fairy land where he is sentenced to “fairy duty” since he doesn’t believe. That’s right, The Rock is a tooth fairy. Of course, he objects and doesn’t want anything to do with it, but since it’s a family film we all know that he’ll come around and be a super nice guy by the end of the film, as well as being a great tooth fairy.
The material is uber-ridiculous, but that means the filmmakers can go all out and just have fun with the silly premise. But no, instead they take the easy way out and play it safe, making this an extremely boring film.
The way they introduce Derek in the beginning was lazy and unexciting. Then before you can even blink, he’s in fairy land where we are introduced to the most annoying character in recent film history. His name is Tracy, a fairy who is in charge of training tooth fairies. He’s a skinny little dweeb who mugs the camera to an irritating degree.
At first, the movie wants to be a wacky slapstick comedy that tries to milk the gimmick of seeing The Rock with fairy wings, but then it turns into a melodramatic family movie, with Derek trying to bond with his girlfriend’s son. The latter portion actually works a little better and there is one scene that kind of moved me, when the son smashes his own guitar (my daughter cried), but it’s pretty syrupy. But at least it works better than uninspired gags like seeing the Rock six inches tall confronting a giant cat, or when he uses the wrong kind of magic and his head balloons up (which was created by some real shitty CG work). Then there’s the subplot that has Derek competing with a young 18 year old on his Hockey team. This storyline goes nowhere and doesn’t really add anything to the movie other than showing how big of a prick Derek is.
Even if the movie sucks, I usually like The Rock, but not this time. This is easily his worst performance. His phony smile and cringe-inducing winks are embarrassing to watch. He displays no comic timing here, which is funny cause I thought he was the funniest thing in BE COOL. He doesn’t seem to be trying at all. It’s as if he was relying on just seeing him in a pink tutu would be enough. It’s not. He actually needs to be funny too.
I think this is the first time that I have ever seen Ashley Judd slumming it. Is she really that hard up for a job? She’s not bad as Derek’s girlfriend, but it’s such an average part that has no redeeming values. Stephen Merchant as Tracy might be the worst performance on screen since Matthew Lillard in IN THE NAME OF THE KING. His face, his voice, and his body language is one giant turn off. He’s so unappealing that I really wanted to throw up every time he was on screen. He can’t even do simple reaction shots right. Julie Andrews is one of my favorite actresses, so what the fuck is she doing here as a grumpy fairy Godmother? Billy Crystal hasn’t appeared in a movie in 9 years, and he chose this as his triumphant return? He’s awful as a fairy who is kind of like a Q, as he give Derek magic things to use like Invisible Spray and a piece of candy that can make you bark like a dog. Crystal aimlessly improvises through his scenes and they seem to go on forever. And then FAMILY GUY’S Seth MacFarlane shows up as a fairy selling black market items, which is one of the worst scenes in the movie. On one minor good note, Chase Ellison was pretty decent as Judd’s son.
Director Michael Lembeck, who made a couple of the SANTA CLAUSE movies, has the cinematic sense of…. what am I talking about, he has not sense of style at all. He points the camera, hoping everything is in frame (and sometimes it’s not) and shoots. The editing is choppy and the camera work is uninspiring. This is slapdash filmmaking at it’s worst! The story has promise of being a fun silly movie, but the script has no magic or charm. It’s awful. Not one joke is funny.
The best thing about the movie was watching my daughter enjoy it. Her favorite part was when The Rock scares a kitty by honking a horn making it jump up to the ceiling. I didn’t laugh at that part, but I did laugh at my daughter laughing at it. So I guess I’m saying that kids will enjoy, but most parents will hate it. Unfortunately, the only other family film out there is THE SPY NEXT DOOR and it’s just as bad. I would recommend staying at home and renting some great family films like LABYRINTH, HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS, or MOUSE HUNT. TOOTH FAIRY is a big family train wreck!!!
LEGION is a religious/horror/supernatural/action thriller. After a brief introduction of an angel named Michael cutting off his wings and stealing a police car, we cut to the small rundown southern town of Paradise Falls. We are introduced to a handful of stock characters that inhabit the local diner: A pregnant floozy named Charlie, the naive young hick named Jeep who wants to take care of her, his dad Bob, a one handed cook named Percy, a drifter with a shady past, and a family having problems.
Before you can say “disaster movie”, an old lady threatens Charlie’s unborn child and turns into some kind of demon. They manage to kill her, but things are getting worse. A swarm of locusts attack, until finally the fallen angel Michael comes to their rescue. He informs them that Charlie’s baby is humanty’s last hope, as the apocalypse is coming. You see, God has lost faith in the world and is sending Angels to possess humans to kill other humans. They hole up in the diner, fighting for their lives against these monsters. But the worst threat is another angel named Gabriel, who will do whatever it takes to kill the baby.
Okay, so you’re not supposed to take this seriously. I know that. I was ready to have a fun time with it. I mean, angels with machine guns! How can you go wrong? Well, to begin with, the movie takes forever to get going. Just like a disaster movie, they have to introduce all of these lame characters and all of their back stories. I don’t know about you, but in an “angels kicking ass” movie, I don’t really care about things like Tyrese Gibson wanting to see his son, and blah blah blah.
Once the old lady attacks, which is over 20 minutes into the film, it picks up for a little bit. That was a fun scene, just hearing an old lady say “You’re fucking baby’s going to burn”. But then we have countless scenes of characters sitting down with one another as they tell their life story. It slows the movie down. Once Michael shows up, it gets pretty fun, but then it slows down again. Finally, the final 15 minutes are the film’s strongest as Michael and Gabriel battle each other. I thought it was pretty cool how Gabriel uses his wings like blades, as he spins around. These were well executed.
Even though the characters are hokey, the actors make up for it by having a good time playing it completely straight. Bettany is a great actor, and I’m glad to see him in a meaty role again. He’s got great charisma and makes a cool hero. Charles S. Dutton plays the cook and he has a great time, but I wish he was in the movie more. Adrianne Palicki maybe does the best job as Charlie. It’s a pretty believable dramatic perfomance in such a goofy movie. I’m trying to figure when Dennis Quaid gave up being a serious actor. He has now become the master of cornbread performances, but alot of fun to watch totally hamming it up with an ultra-phony southern accent. Tyrese Gibson is solid as the drifter, as is Kevin Durand as Gabriel. My only beef with casting is Lucas Black as Jeep, whose thick accent makes him sound like a supporting character from an 80’s Burt Reynolds comedy. Couldn’t take him seriously.
Visual Effects artist turned filmmaker Scott Stewart makes a passable debut. He definitely has some talent, though I never felt it was fully realized in this movie. It was like we were watching him find his voice and style as the movie progressed. Towards the end there were some great set pieces, and I do think his next film (PRIEST, again with Bettany) will be much better. Still, not a horrible first feature. The script is where I had the most issues. There needed to be more action instead of useless character development. Also, I thought the first few action scenes weren’t all that great. Pretty standard. But the last one is pretty kick-ass. And the creepy score by John Frizzell was one of his best.
Those who aren’t picky when they watch their silly action/horror films will get a kick out of it, but I thought that it wasn’t entirely successful, even though the effort was there. Not bad, but DAYBREAKERS and THE BOOK OF ELI are better.
EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES is the first film released by CBS Films. Based on a true story, the movie is about John Crowley (Brendan Fraser) and his family. Two of his kids have a rare genetic disorder and don’t have a long time to live. He tracks down Dr. Robert Stonehill (Harrison Ford), who is a radical chemist that may have discovered a cure. The trouble is that he doesn’t have the funding to test his theory. Crowely decides to raise the money himself, though Stonehill is still reluctant. After a rocky start, the two men grow a strong bond as they fight for their cause, and to save the lives of not just Crowley’s kids, but kids from all over the world.
If this sounds alot like a TV movie of the week, then you’ve hit the nail on the head. There isn’t particularly anything wrong with this movie, but the way everything is laid out seems all too familiar, and the execution is just ordinary. Thankfully director Tom Vaugnan doesn’t overdo the sentiement, and keeps it pretty low key most of the time. But the average style of filmmaking doesn’t do anything to make this better than a TV movie of the week.
Brendan Fraser has one of Hollywood’s most unusual faces. Seriously, just study it for a coupld of minutes. It moves strangely. That said, he does an all right job I guess, though I can think of 50 other actors that would have been better suited for the role. Fortunately, Harrison Ford is much better as Stonehill. He’s that grouchy man that has a mean bark, but you know once you get inside that he’s got a heart of gold. Ford does a great job making this character come to life, with all the eccentricities. It’s not an Oscar worthy performance, but if this premiered on TV, I guarantee he would have received an Emmy. Underrated actress Keri Russell is also good as Crowley’s wife.
Despite being well acted, the script is just okay. It follows the medical drama genre to a T. Guy is desperate to save his family, throw in a cranky old doctor to help, then a few moments of hopelessness before they triumph at the end. Those who haven’t seen as many movies as I have may be more forgiving, but when you see over 400 films a year, you get tired of the same old thing.
It does have some feel good moments that will make people feel happy, and fans of Ford will want to see him in the type of role he doesn’t get to play all that often. This is just a pretty average TV movie. It’s got some redeemable qualities, but it’s a film that can probably be more appreciated on the small screen.
I just spent over an hour writing this review and for some reason it got erased. I am absolutely frustrated right now, as I only have 10 more minutes until I can’t work anymore since my brother is leaving for work, and I have to watch his 3 year old son.
It’s a faith-based movie about a popular High School kid named Jake whose childhood friend kills himself. Now, he feels the need to change his life. He becomes friends with a pastor and begins to make friends with so-called nerds. His girlfriend and friends think he’s a loser now, but Jake doesn’t care. Of course, things get worse for Jake.
I already spent too much time on this film, so I’ll sum this up quickly. It’s not bad. Unlike other Faith-based films, this one is actually well shot and edited. The acting is also quite good and felt very natural. Unfortunately, the script tries way too hard pounding the message in our heads. Everything that can go wrong happens, and then more things go wrong! It felt very forced. The first half was good, but the second half is heavy handed and laughable.
That’s too bad cause I felt that the movie has a good message. I was picked on in school and would have loved it if a popular kid talked to me. I felt good after the movie as I started conversations with strangers, but that doesn’t change the fact that the movie wasn’t as good as it wanted to be. Good effort, but it tried way too hard.
THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE came out late last year, and is finally getting a release at the Lagoon this weekend. Robin Wright Penn stars as Pippa Lee, a housewife who is married to famous publisher Herb (Alan Arkin). They have moved in to a retirement community close to their friends Sam and Sandra. Pippa isn’t taking this too well since she’s not as old as her husband. She begins to go through a sort of midlife crisis. She’s attracted to neighbor Chris (Keanu Reeves), and the two start a Platonic relationship. The movie also constantly flashes back to a teenage Pippa (Blake Lively) struggling to find herself, and dealing with her crazy mother (Maria Bello). We also get to see how she met Herb. Also, Pippa thinks she may be losing her mind when she discovers that she’s been walking in her sleep.
Okay, I must admit, the above synopsis doesn’t sound like it’d make a very compelling movie, but it really does. I found myself very involved throughout. The structure of the film is what helped. The constant inclusion of flashbacks really made things interesting, and added alot of insight into Pippa’s present life. I felt that every character felt real, and that probably has something to do with the impressive cast.
Robin Wright Penn delivers her best performance in years as Pippa. She’s a woman who doesn’t want to grow old. She’s used to be wild, but has been tied down, and now wants to be free again. Wright has the chops to pull all of these emotions off. Alan Arkin is very good here. Lately, he’s been playing kind of comic relief characters, so it was nice to see him in a strong dramatic role. Blake Lively (SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS) hasn’t been able to impress me yet, but she was terrific in this! She plays younger Pippa and captures all of that teenage angst and frustration. She reminded me alot of Kate Hudson in this. I can’t wait to see what she does next, cause judging from her work here, she has potential for great things. Maria Bello is memorable as Pippa’s mother. It’s a small role, but Bello fully dives in as she pops pills and has bursts of tantrums. It’s hard not to notice her great work here. Surprisingly, Keanu Reeves is solid in a part that doesn’t require too much from him, but he’s likable, and that’s all you can really ask for his character. Julianne Moore, Winona Ryder, and Mike Binder each have scenes to shine in as well, especially Ryder. Also, I have to mention that I have a huge crush on Zoe Kazan, who played Pippa’s daughter. Man is she adorable, I’m so glad I got to see her boobies in REVOLUTIONARY ROAD. The only weak link in the cast is Ryan McDonald as Pippa’s son. His sarcastic delivery made it seem like he was from a Judd Apatow comedy.
Anyway, Director Miller (aka Mrs. Daniel Day-Lewis) also wrote the film. I really liked the story. It’s a deeply layered character study, and since there were alot of character I thought she did a great job balancing everyone. Not an easy thing to do. While not mind blowing, she does a pretty good job with the direction too, using a pretty laid back style. I do think the movie comes to an awkwardly rapid stop though. I felt there should have been a little more. Like the film ended just as the third act was about to begin.
Still, the strong acting really made this better than your average drama. The story really isn’t anything new, but people who want to see a great cast doing a great job will want to see this.
BRONSON is a bit of a cult sensation among the circle of film geeks. It came out sometime last year, but is finally coming to Minnesota… only two shows at Midnight this Friday and Saturday at The Uptown.
Tom Hardy plays a man who likes to fight alot, ever since he was a kid. We don’t really know why, but he just likes to hit people and throw things. He falls in love and wants to start a family. Unfortunately, he gets caught trying to rob a post office and gets sentenced to 7 years in prison. There, he discovers that he can fight all the guards he can. This lands him a small stint in the loony bin, but he beats people up there too. He gets out of prison for a little bit and changes his name to Charles Bronson, but his temper lands him back in prison. The rest of the movie is just him stripping naked and hitting people in slow motion while a hip soundtrack plays in the background.
This is supposedly based on a true story, but I’m not sure his life was as stylized as this obvious attempt to be the latest cult phenomenon. The thing is, the whole movie felt like a gimmick. Sure, director Nicolas Winding Refn puts together some stylish scenes and shots together, but it feels very self-conscious, like he’s showing off. That’s kind of how I felt about Guy Ritchie’s SNATCH, but this goes even more overboard. Bronson narrates the film by talking directly into the camera as he stands in a spotlight on an empty stage. It’s kind of clever, but a little too cutesy for me.
I know people have been saying that Tom Hardy is fantastic in this, but to me he felt like one of those over the top henchmen from a Sylvester Stallone movie like TANGO & CASH. It’s a very cartoonish performance that relies on Hardy shouting and making crazy faces for 90 minutes. I respect Hardy for going all the way, but I had a hard time taking the movie seriously because of it. Maybe we weren’t supposed to, I don’t know. And why did he have to get naked every time he fought someone? They never really explained that.
The script isn’t all that great. In fact, even at just over 90 minutes, it felt padded. There wasn’t enough material here for a feature. So Refn just adds scene after scene of Bronson getting fully naked while he pummels prison guards in slow motion. It does have this kind of superficial cool vibe going for it, but I grew out of these type of movies when I was 19.
I’m sure young aspiring film geeks that haven’t seen as many films as they should will probably think BRONSON is brilliant, but I saw right through this gimmick. Go and watch A CLOCKWORK ORANGE instead, a much better movie that explores the same kind of themes. Sure, BRONSON is well made to some degree, but I found it’s self-conscious style tedious.
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Here’s a quick recap (I use a four-star rating system):
TOOTH FAIRY [PG] – *
LEGION [R] – **1/2
EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES [PG] – **1/2
TO SAVE A LIFE [PG -13] – **
THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE [R] – ***
BRONSON [R] – **
It’s a pretty weak weekend with PIPPA LEE being the only film I would recommend seeing. BRONSON does have a huge following so you might have to see it for yourself, but the film just rubbed me the wrong way. That’s it for now!
Take Care!
Be geeky!!
Watch movies!!!
Everybody wants to be the person with the info. At least that’s the way it seems these days with social media. For some things like celebrity deaths or great deals on fine footwear that’s ok…whatever. But can we please leave spoilers for movies and now, trailers, out of it? Come on, kids…play nice.
Would the “Usual Suspects” have had the same impact with today’s cinema going public? People respected that movie, recommended it and let folks discover the secrets for themselves. Nobody told what was going to happen. Same thing with “The Crying Game”. The difference now is the dicks are off screen and in the seats waiting to tweet or update every damn detail before people can see it for themselves.
All of those Chuck Norris jokes are funny, sure, but if you change the name to Tom Atkins they become gospel.
The real victory that should be celebrated from this year’s Super Bowl is that Snack Attack Samurai, a contest entry commercial for Doritos co-directed by Cole Koehler and Ben Krueger, is currently the most watched commercial…EVER! According to the 
